My Diary: Completed a Marathon,but not the way I intended

I am glad that I completed the Rocket city Marathon,but more than that I am sooooo disappointed that I couldn't finish in the time I intended to finish(4 - 4.5hrs.).

I thought since i finished my first half marathon in 1hr 58mts(on November 8,2008)I could finish the Full Marathon(on December 13,2008) in may be double time+20-30mts = 4- 4.5hrs.

I even ran two 20 milers (20miles,24miles) in 3hrs 59mts and 4hrs 23mts respectively (without having things like gatorade and all that during the trial sessions)and so I thought i would easily finish in 4 - 4.5hrs..and in the worst case within 5hrs.But it took me 5hrs 12 mts...that's really disappointing.

But,the way I finished the Marathon in a very bad time 5hrs 12mts. That was very disappointing for me.

But as usual one part of my heart which supports what ever I do has a reason(excuse) for everything.

It says

"Come on Sandeep,you didn't even know how to dress up when it was cold and you had to pay the price...but you should think that you completed the Marathon which is a good thing.Good that you didn't stop and give up..you kept on moving." That is from the part of my heart which supports me and pushes me in everything.."

But the other part of my heart(critic) which i mostly hear to and try to correct myself(because that part of the heart is harsh and doesn't want any excuses) says

" You stupid....idiot..you don't even know how to dress up for a marathon.Marathon is not just about running..it's much more than that.You need to be mentally fit and even physically you should be able to support yourself.You should be ashamed that you didn't reach your goal in time because of not dressing well. You took care of drinking gatorade..and kept your self hydrating to avoid dehydration.But you are such a dumbo...that you forgot to recognize that this is the month of December and moreover December 13 was with lot of cold wind...and you had to pay the price.....Atleast you should have finished within 4:59:59,but you couldn't...I feel you gave up....I am disappointed with you Sandeep.Anyways...what all i can say is..try to erase that time....and come up with a good finish time.haha lol..and you are thinking to qualify for Boston Marathon.What a funny thought. first know the basics and keep yourself finishing atleast in 4hrs,then you can think of it....you...loser..."

I know the critic part of my heart is very harsh at me. Anyways it's part of the game,and it doesn't stop here.We need to keep going and may be it's a lesson for me.

At a point of time i couldn't even breathe and was suffocating(all because of the cold air).. and coughing like hell....and almost about to vomit..and was feeling will i reach the finish line....but glad that i didn't give up... I know the critic part of my heart would be thinking...."What a great excuse...u stupid "

I should take these personal experiences(lessons) into account and give my best next time.Way to go Sandeep...

Better luck next time...keep moving...

Some of the captured moments..

At the half way...you can see how dumb i was, (almost walking..at half way 13.1miles).